I figured I should probably post something here. It's been a few days since the last post...
OK, it's been over a year. Fuck you's guys anyway, ain't nobody reading this.
She surprises me, sometimes she hums on my balls
And i can see the world right through her bedroom walls
She has a jaw like a pelican's beak is deep
Humming me right to sleep, my favortie freak
I can rearrange the patterns of the stars in the sky
I can fly with the seagulls on the beach with the tide
Cause she can blow me there, i swear, right through the air
If i ain't really there, my balls do not care, my balls
Come on put it on me bitch
Hit me with the humdrum boogie
That thing, oh goodie
Come on put it on me bitch
Right now, right now boogie
That thing, my balls
Come on put it on me bitch
Hit me with the humdrum boogie
That thing, oh goodie
Come on put it on me bitch
I see my life flash before me
I hear all my favortie song at one time
(when she blow me) right before i actually go blind
I'm running back and forth though the door of (in and out of) my mind
(when she blow me) my favortie freak is so fine
To have her hum in performance, the show is enormous
Only two fans in attendance, these two in my pants
(my balls) she's my favortie, she's got my standing applause
Humming me into harmony, right through my balls
Come on put it on me bitch
Hit me with the humdrum boggie
That thing, oh goodie
Come on put it on me bitch
Right now, right now
Boogie, that thing, my balls
Come on put it on me bitch
Right now, right now
Boogie, that thing, my balls
Undo my belt, put down my drawers
Kiss my dick and hum my balls
Undo my belt, put down my drawers
Kiss my dick and hum my balls
And she can blow me there, i swear, right through the air
If i ain't really there, my balls do not care, my balls
Come on put it on me bitch
Hit me with the humdrum boogie
That thing, oh goodie
Come on put it on me bitch
Right now, right now
Boogie, that thing, my balls
Come on put it on me bitch
Hit me with the humdrum boogie
That thing, oh goodie
Come on put it on me bitch
Right now, right now
Boogie, that thing, my balls
NOW, sing that and dance, you fuckers.
Here are some boobies for you:
Hum Drum Boogie
BACK!!
I fucked my back up. BAD. I apparently have sciatica. If I keep twisting and what not, I may slip a disc in my lower spine. Which is worse.
SCIATICA:
Summer, summer, summer-time.
You know, every year I look forward to summer. And I get sick of it really quick. Here's why:
The GOOD
- I like the weather. I don't mind it being hot and muggy. I haven't put my air conditioner on this year. Even though it's a balmy 90°F in my house.
- Outside activities. I like to hang outdoors with friends and family. Just being outside more makes me feel better.
- Bikini's motherfucker. I love to see the hot chicks wandering around with a bikini top and short shorts on. You don't see that shit when it's 20° F outside!
The BAD
- Humidity. I'm sick of the humidity. Mainly because it sucks to pry my balls from my legs 37 times a day. I don't mind touching my balls, as long as they're not sweaty and smell like a gym bag. :S
- Work. There's so much more of it during the summer!
- Fat dudes with their shirts off. Motherfuckers look like they're wearing a sweater-vest or some shit. It's ridiculous. Nobody wants to see that shit, man! Put your saggy man-tits back under your wife-beater. For fuck sake.
Anybody know some loose women? Hook me up!
Less bullshit, more work.
BULLSHIT: I don't know if you know, but I'm a criminal.
I've been breathalyzing twice a day for over 18 months... Until yesterday that is!!! That's right bitches, I'm off the 24/7 program!! WOO HOO!!!! Now, I can sleep in past 7AM on Sunday!!! Motherfucker yes!!!I'm going to stay sober for as long as I'm on probation, though. Fuck getting into any more fucking trouble.
WORK: Well, I am now working after I get done with work. Fixing sprinklers and such. Lots more work, but more moneys, too. Which I could always use. Twelve hour days are gonna suck. But, the paycheck will always make me feel better.
TO HOLLY: WTF!!!!! Do I have to whip my balls out to impress you or something?
Holy shitballs.
Shit, I forgot I started doing this blog thing. Meh, I guess.
Just picked up the new Disturbed album, Indestructible. Pretty decent. I'd give it a 4.5 out of 5. Good, rocking riffs and a nice step away from all the emo and pop shit going around. Nice to see at least one band who hasn't sold there souls and testicles to MTV.
Christmas Time
Yeah, so I here I sit. At work. Doing nothing. There isn't any work or customers at all! Boredom sets in.
Black Friday.
Hey, all you soccer moms!
Time to shop! Time to shop!
Shop 'til you fucking drop [dead from exhaustion]
Time to shop! Time to shop!
Hey, holiday assholes...[are you shopping yet, bitch?]
It's that time of yeeeeaaaaar!
[Find the best deals, after turkey meals]
You stuff yourself on Thursdaaay!
[You're fat and lazy anyway]
And stuff the kids into the car on Fridaaaaaay!
Buy that shit, no matter what it costs,
Maybe you'll get a black eye for your trouble!
Wandering around, you seem to be lost,
The big screen is sold out, sorry to burst your bubble!
Hey, all you crazy fucks!
Time to shop! Time to shop!
Shop 'til your fucking eyes bleed! [scratched out by greedy housewives]
Time to shop! Time to shop!
Hey, don't you have a job?... [how do you afford all that shit?]
It's that tiiiiiiiiiime of the year!
[Special sale on fucking Reindeer]
It's 4 in the mooooorning!
[Only 100 left, this is your final warning]
A brand new blue-light sppeeeeeeeecial!
[That old lady wanted it more, so she fucking stabbed you]
Shop 'til you drop, 'til you drop,
[Drop dead and get trampled!]
Shop 'til you drop, 'til you drop,
[Got stabbed with a nail file!]
Happy Holidays, bitches!
Reviewing things?
I sometimes find myself inspired by things. Most of these thing s are stupid, and I am stupid for being inspired by anything stupid... Stop calling me stupid, assholes.
One that sticks out is Coke Baby. He does reviews of things like candy, soda, and other unimportant mumbo-jumbo. Why am I inspired by this? It actually amuses me. It's funny, fuck you if you think otherwise. If you go read some of his shit, and don't laugh. I will personally kill you with my dick.
Maddox is also a funny little shit. I think most people have already heard of this guy, sent him an e-mail sucking his e-peen and fondling his ego. No? Why not? Do I have to threaten a penis beating again?
Also, little cartoons that are created by low-talent ass-clowns humor me and make me want to buy a Porsche. What can I say? I'm easily amused.
I hate celebrity.
Man, I hate celebrities. They truly suck. The only thing worse is herpes/AIDS, old people, or a retarded valet trying to park your car and driving straight into a pole. I don't know much about foreign celebs, but American ones are fucking elitist pricks. And sure, they probably think they are "normal" like the rest of us. The fact is, these "people" are not normal. They're motherfuckers who are disrespectful, lazy and most of them need a good beating.
Do you know anybody who gets their way everyday, all the time? If you do, it's most likely an infant, mongoloid in a home, or the gimp from Pulp Fiction. These famous people do an interview talking about how like the rest of us they really are. As soon as the interview is over, shit hits the fan.
"Bring me a bottle of Perrier! It better not have been bottled more than 2 days ago!!!!",
"I want a plate of almond M&M's!! Only the green colored ones!! If there are any colors other than green, so help me God, you'll never work in this town again."
I think they have this drastically skewed version of self-important reality mostly from the media. Even Fox and CNN are guilty of running a story or two about meaningless drivel involving celebrities. It was probably about Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, or some other Hollywood quasi-whore with fake tits and a dysfunctional family. I'm not 100% sure, I don't watch that garbage. But, I know it's happened.
Like when Anna Nicole Smith keeled over. That should have been the news, she's dead, people mourn. End of story. Nope, not this time. We have to hear about her kid, who gets what, which dude she was fucking is the real father, and even the judge and his crying around. Fucking helicopters circled the funeral! Helicopters!! This shit was the most "important" thing on the news for a month straight. It's not even important news, and barely newsworthy. But, the heads of the "major news networks" must think this shit is pertinent to the interests of the people. I haven't met many people who would consider this worthwhile.
People who follow celebrities footsteps like a small dog following it's owner are idiots. But, at least it's fun to see celebrity tits.
Britney Spears
Paris Hilton
In reality, I'm only putting these two skanks on my page for more web traffic. Only seven people have ever even seen this blog. Including myself.
